Eastern [engine] Bloc

The Czech Republic. Capital city Prague.

It is home to the imaginatively named Prague Castle, the largest ancient castle in the world, its architecture famously haunted Franz Kafka and stole screen time from Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible. TV’s show a cartoon about a mole called ‘The Mole’, you can consume enough Absinthe to make you a bit do-lally and some of the best beer you’ll ever have; snaffle rabbit stew; pay respects at Kafka’s final resting place; frown at a TV tower adorned with scary babies crawling skywards and listen to some Mahler.

But it is not such delights to which tourists flock from miles around to part with their hard earned pennies that I wish to bring your attention. For it is another wretched beast from this hinterland that has captivated my imagination; sour of face and sharp of tail, later incarnations were ridiculed by the masses and belched an acrid poison in defiance.

The Skoda.

Perhaps it is somewhat ironic that the name Skoda means ‘pity’ in the Czech language, you think someone might have had some inkling as to what the future had in store?

Some of the best jokes I told at school were Skoda jokes. Here’s a selection of my favourites:

Q: “what do you call a skoda convertible?”
A: “a skip”

Q: “why do Skodas have a heated rear windscreen?”
A: “to keep your hands warm whilst you push it”

“I’ve just bought the new 16 valve Skoda ...4 in the engine, 12 in the radio!”

And my personal favourite:

Q: “What's the difference between getting out of a Skoda and getting out of a sheep?”
A: “You don't get so embarrassed if someone sees you getting out of a sheep.”

Obviously since Volkswagen became owners in 1991 Skoda’s fortunes have been on the upturn. This year Skoda celebrates it’s centenary so I decided to lavish some attention on the little cars.

Skoda started life as somewhat of a luxury car maker (no giggling at the back), producing their first car ‘Voiturette Laurin & Klement A’ in 1905, prior to that they made bicycles and then motorcycles, struggling through both World Wars when much of their production went towards the war effort; Skoda continued to succeed producing motor ploughs which helped keep the firm afloat.

Fast forward a few decades and the Skoda I know produced some oddities, the Trekka for example, looked like a Land Rover after a few too many sherberts down the Dog and Duck and the 1980s car to which all those jokes became synonymous, the Favorit, which was surprisingly perhaps, designed by an Italian; Nucio Bertone.

Skoda has been able to shake off the ghosts of their previous years, they are no longer the recipient of jokes and sniggers, and are emerging towards the top end of customer satisfaction polls; the Fabia has just recently been awarded ‘What Car?’ best supermini for the third consecutive year. And in motorsport they are hugely successful rally car manufacturers.

The new found integrity in the brand is on the upturn. It’s official we have to find a new joker in the automotive pack.

This particular Skoda however is old school, it’s a 1962 Felicia, and has captivated my imagination. With more than a nod to the ‘57 Chevy with it’s Americana style cues, it is a car I’ve never seen ‘in the flesh’. In recent years Skoda have revisited the Felicia name but the two cars could not be further apart, sharing merely a name.

It's a Skoda...honest

I was given a photograph, taken specifically for me by friends on a recent visit to Prague. It was the source of much amusement to play ‘guess what it is’ with me for about ½ hour until the tables turned and I started asking questions about the upholstery and what the engine sounded like.

crocodile?...nope still a Skoda

check out those fins...where's this crocodile?

This little Felicia probably sounds terrible it has a 1089cc engine with a top speed of approx 128 km/h, they were first produced in 1959 and ceased in 1964 and also came in coupe variant. A sum total of 14863 were manufactured which would explain why I’ve never set my peepers on one before.

But now I want to go and see it, in the same way I want to see lions and tigers in the zoo; to look at; smell; listen to and maybe even get close enough to touch - but you wouldn’t actually want to own one and have it sat outside your house.

So now I’m looking for a valid excuse to go to Prague for the sole purpose of partaking in the questionably named ‘Crocodile Dundee’ tour, which the Felicia is the means of transport around the sights of the city. I really need to see for myself what the Skoda can do, and to get to the bottom of the tour title.

I can’t sleep just thinking about it.